Enough is enough. 

Dear O,

I wish you would stop randomly liking my posts on Instagram. You are no longer apart of my life, and please remember that was your choice.

You decided that I was not enough. In the end you made it incredibly clear that you were searching for someone shinier, prettier, with no flaws or signs of trouble. Maybe I’m a victim of this digital age of dating. Maybe you’re just fucked up.

You’ve offered to hear me out so I could get everything off my chest, & we could pick up where we left off as friends. Yeah that would really make me feel so much better. I’d apologize for not realizing that the awful side effects from my treatment drugs would catch up with me and I went haywire. I allowed my insecurities to get the best of me, and felt like I was losing sight of my goals. I thought you would be there to support me, instead you decided I wasn’t worth the fight.

Next I’d tell you how I was guilty of cyber-stalking your social media pages, and noticed all of your flirtatious exchanges and offers to go on dates. Or I’d point out the dates you have been on to places we planned to venture to together. I’d mention how quickly you deleted all evidence of me existing in your life, so as not to confuse anyone I’m sure. I’d let you know how hurtful this all was being that these events occurred not too long after we broke up. Oh, and they also happen to be with the same women I questioned you about when we were together. So then you’d tell me to stop being crazy, and I’d feel pathetic for bringing it up.

I want you to know that I didn’t give up on myself. I was sick and I got better. I have flare-ups, but I take medication in order to maintain remission. Health is wealth, and without it I have nothing. I am teaching and I love it. I’m experiencing joy and fulfillment through my career like I never have before and wish I had someone to share it with. On the other hand, this transitional phase has been very stressful so it’d be nice to have someone to come home to after those long days. Life is all about balance, and without the bitter baby the sweet ain’t as sweet.

I need you to know, and please get this through your head, actions speak louder than words. You weren’t there when I needed you the most, & if you couldn’t hang during my lows you don’t deserve to meet me at my highs. I’m planning adventures across the country, in the best shape of my life (so far), & I’m making my dreams come true. I have been so foolishly in love with you and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m trying to move forward. Yes I still think about you every damned day, even if just for a minute, but I mostly wonder why you stopped believing in me. I would’ve loved you forever, but you decided to let me go.

So please, let me go

XoAsh


14 thoughts on “Enough is enough. 

  1. Moi, j’opte plus pour mon ensemble favoris, quelque chose que je porte tous les jours et que je considère qui me met en valeur. Je ne vais pas m’habiller plus chic qu’à l’habitude, je vais porter quelque chose qui me représente qui illustre bien mon style. Je ne fais pas de fausse reƒÃ©pÂrsentation.

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  2. Eleni ~The soles of my feet are itching with anticipation (thankfully not with something else) for your &#kp&0;Firewal82#8221;u2date and more! Light those coals and start that walk!We’ll all follow, I’m sure!BTW, love your header! So unique, dynamic and spirited — captures “You” perfectly!Congrats!

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  3. Thinking of you. Remain strong and true to yourself. As you said, it’s about balance and this person sounds like they tipped the scales in favour of more negative.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. From what I gather here, you’re doing exactly what you need to do: detaching from the ex (rather than running back to him) and shining that love on yourself, doing what you can to improve your life and make yourself happy. Hey, if someone else isn’t going to do it, then you just have to do it for yourself. Open your heart to you and you’ll never go wrong. Life will be what it is and people will be who they are, but through it all you can show yourself as the strong, proud, beautiful woman that you are.

    Good luck and I wish you all the best. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, such a thoughtful and kind comment- thank you so much! You are absolutely right, I have a lot of love to give might as well bestow it upon someone who deserves it (myself). I never lost sight of my goals sometimes you just get thrown off track. I’m resilient & believe happiness is a choice. One day at a time. ☺️ Thanks again and cheers to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Omg, that fourth paragraph… What an asshole. You’re completely right he does not deserve you at your highs or even your lows. He’s lost somebody that truly loved him, all you’ve lost is walking, talking ballbag by the sounds of it. It sounds like you’re doing really well without him, it can only get better 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind words. I’m trying to remain optimistic, but sometimes I really do want to give him a piece of my mind. I think it’s best I continue to work things out with my writing & by making connections with people like you. ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It is insane how much I relate to this post. Breakups are so damn difficult because not only do you lose someone you love, but you lose a friend. That’s what I’m having trouble with. I know the pain will eventually fade, but it’s still agonizing.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Exa&;lyc#8230tand those goes for BOTH sides of the political aisle. People don't like to think for themselves, they prefer to be fed, and that is not exclusive to the "new" GOP.

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